By Adrian Brown
The big question in life coaching is always “what do you want?” and people often struggle to answer it. They can usually tell you what they don’t want in no uncertain terms, but when answering the question “what do you really want?”, they often struggle.
So what’s going on here?
When you are a child, people often say “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and you say “a train driver, an astronaut, a fireman” etc. they tell that you can do anything you like.
A few years later, you hit a certain age and they say “That’s ridiculous, I think you’re setting your sights a bit high”.
Thanks very much, that dream’s killed and a limitation is often unconsciously installed.
So what happens is that you hit a limitation, usually a limiting belief about what’s possible. If you don’t think it’s possible, you probably won’t even attempt it.
Remember though, often when the people you’re listening to appear to know best, they can often be wrong
I love the story about the Wright brothers flying their early aeroplanes in a field next to a railway track. For two years they were flying in public view, not very high and not for long, but the people on the train often watched them fly all the same. A leading physics journal at the time published an article about how impossible it was even when it was regularly being done in plain sight.
As Richard Bandler says, anything is possible, we may not know how to do it yet but with time someone’ll figure it out.
So anyway, back to the point, what do you want? Have you considered it?
It is possible that there’s something that you’d like to do but haven’t, that really is possible if you actually put your mind to it.
“What the mind can conceive, it can achieve” – Napoleon Hill
It’s an over used quote but a good one. The brain needs a target, something to aim, for in order to know what to do.
Have you even considered what you could do?
One of the best known models in the personal development world for goal setting is the SMART model. It states that all goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timed (or variations on the theme).
SMART is useful to a degree but there are much better models.
Many coaches now believe that as soon as you add realistic into the mix, you lose all inspiration and you end up with something much less than you could have had if you decided to be unrealistic. Remember the realism of your goal is only based on the limiting beliefs you had at the time you set the goal.
“Shoot for the moon and even if you miss you’ll still be among the stars”
I don’t know who originally said this but it’s perfect. People tend to be more enthusiastic if they’re working towards something outstanding as opposed to mediocre.
Also, one of the great things about going for something that you really want is that it moves your attention away from other problems. These often take care of themselves when your mind is occupied by something truly inspiring.
So, take some time to let your inspired ideas come to the surface. I’ll talk later about how to start putting things into action but for the moment just allow yourself to dream of what you truly want.
If the people in your life try to bring you back to earth, then keep your dreams to yourself but come up with them anyway. You can always achieve the impossible just to prove them wrong.